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The website of Author/Writer and Psychic Medium Astrid Brown. Making the most of 'YOU' i.e. how to achieve well-being and beauty from within ourselves. A truly holistic blog providing information on all aspects of psychic mediumship, spiritualism, philosophy, holistic therapies, nutrition, health, stress, mental health and beauty with a little bit of Wicca for good measure. Feeling and looking good is as much a part of how we feel inside as the outside.

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ALL WRITTEN/PHOTOGRAPHIC MATERIAL ON MY PAGES IS SUBJECT TO COPYRIGHT. YOU MAY NOT REPRODUCE, COPY, DISSEMINATE PART OR WHOLE WITHOUT PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR

I am a great believer in Karma, but just what is it? Karma comes from the Sanskrit and ancient Indian Language with the underlying principal that every deed in our lives will affect our future life. For example, if we treat others badly during our lifetime we will have negative experiences later on in that lifetime or in future lifetimes. Likewise, if we treat others well we will be rewarded by positive experiences.

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THE DANGERS OF INEXPERIENCED PSYCHICS/MEDIUMS

Today I am blogging about inexperienced Psychics/Mediums. There are many psychics/mediums around who give the profession a bad name, t...

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Sunday, 7 October 2012

HOW TO CONDUCT AN ARGUMENT CIVILLY


Story below from the Daily Mail. You can conduct an argument in a civilised fashion, if you take time and don't become too emotional, easier said than done however, but it does make sense to count to ten. Think of an argument as a debate, do not launch a tirade of abuse at the other person but state your case why you feel this way and don't go on the defensive. In this way you can reason with one another civilly after all the other person may not have a clue you feel upset and why.


Ten steps to stop an argument unleashing your inner animal


Mention the word 'argument' and images of grimacing faces and finger-jabbing spring to mind. But discussing two differing sets of opinions need not end up this way.
An argument is an art form which, if carried out efficiently, can be a useful way of understanding how people feel, as well as acting as a vehicle by which to make positive changes in a relationship.
Indeed, over the course of my career as a relationship therapist, I have seen countless couples turn negative feelings towards each other into fresh, exciting futures. So, how to proceed?
An argument is an art form which, if carried out efficiently, can be a useful way of understanding how people feel
An argument is an art form which, if carried out efficiently, can be a useful way of understanding how people feel
1. DON'T BE AN ANIMAL
Examine how you are feeling emotionally by checking where you are on a scale of one to ten
Examine how you are feeling emotionally by checking where you are on a scale of one to ten
Before starting an argument, it is vital you check your internal barometer. 
Examine how you are feeling emotionally by checking where you are on a scale of one to ten – one being serene and ten positively furious.
If you’re above seven-and-a-half, don’t even think about entering into a discussion.
When you become angry, your body displays physical symptoms. 
You will regress into a more animal state because neurons are not fired quickly enough to an area of the brain called the amygdala, which is responsible for processing our emotions.
At this point you are no longer capable of engaging in proper, rational thought and so revert to a primitive ‘fight-or-flight’ mode.
In this state your body is preparing itself to either fight, be it physically or verbally, or run away to seek shelter. 
You will notice physical symptoms such as a faster heartbeat, sweaty palms, a high temperature, feeling tense and sometimes extreme thoughts of violence.
When you feel like this, take some time out to reflect on why you are so angry or upset.
2. TAKE A BREATHER
If taking only a short break, try to breathe slowly and deeply – it helps to signal to your brain that you are not in a dangerous situation. 
Your nervous system will start to behave normally and you will be able to assess your situation more objectively.
3. ARE THINGS REALLY THAT BAD?
Sometimes a simple form of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), a type of psychotherapy, may be of use. 
Note what is making you angry, think about why it makes you angry and then try to assess whether the situation really is as bad as you think it is. Very often it is not.
4. REMEMBER YOUR GOAL
When you finally decide to enter into an argument, make sure you go in with the correct attitude. 
Remember that the goal is to be happy, not to be in the right. You should want to resolve the situation, not just compete or indulge in a pointless fight.
5. MIND YOUR LANGUAGE
Know what the aim of the conflict is – do you want an apology or a change in behaviour, for example? Write it down. 
You will need to be equipped with appropriate language – verbal and physical – to make your desires or grievances clear. 
It can be easy to meander on to other, irrelevant issues in your relationship in the heat of the moment. Try not to as it will confuse the purpose of the argument and slow down any chance of resolution.
6. THE GENTLE TOUCH
It is almost impossible to pretend you are not angry or upset when you are, but try not to hold a defensive posture. 
Aim not to hunch your shoulders, fold your arms or gesticulate too wildly. If possible, try to sit opposite the person you are arguing with and, if it’s your partner or someone you are very close to, perhaps even place your hand on theirs.
Keep reminding yourself that the  purpose of the conflict is for both people to come out of the other side as happy as possible. This will almost undoubtedly mean compromise, and the power of touch hints at this.
7. STOP, LOOK AND LISTEN
More important than talking is listening. You must show the other person that you are willing and able to hear both sides of the story being discussed. 
Indeed, hearing their side might even help contextualise your own feelings, making it easier to understand why you have ended up having a row in the first place.
And when you do start talking, do so with caution. Arguments are not blaming games – that chance you have to vocalise your emotions is not just a cue to hurl abuse at someone.
8. POSITIVE THINKING
Instead of telling someone what they have done wrong and how they have made you feel, centre the discussion on yourself and bring in positive examples of the other person’s behaviour to help convey your point. 
For example, instead of saying ‘You forgot my birthday and you made me feel upset’, try ‘I felt upset when you forgot my birthday because you are usually so thoughtful.’ 
This immediately makes the tone less aggressive, limits the extent of fault placed on that person and makes it easier for them to understand why you’re unhappy.
9. THE FUTURE'S BRIGHT
Try not to fall back on past mistakes or conflicts when expressing the way you feel. 
The chances are that the person you are fighting with will be only too aware of past misdemeanours and  neither they nor you can do anything to change them.
Instead, focus on the here and now, so there can be resolution and reconciliation.
10. THERE’S STRENGTH IN WEAKNESS
It is also crucial to remember that admitting a weakness, or when you have made a mistake, is a definite strength and in many cases is the key to ending a dispute. 
And if all else fails, get help. It can be too easy to enter into what seems to be a never-ending cycle of vicious disagreements.
If you think you need a third party to get involved and help arbitrate conversations, there are therapists available to help you.

harleytherapy.co.uk


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PSYCHIC QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

PSYCHIC QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE TO FORECAST THE FUTURE AND OTHER QUESTIONS?

I am often asked various questions pertaining to the spirit world and various aspects of the psychic, here are some of them: I will in time feature more questions and answers as this webpage evolves

Q. Is a psychic or medium a fortune teller?
A. It may surprise you to know psychics and mediums are not fortune tellers
Q. Is it possible to forecast the future?
A.Well not 100% and this is because of free will.
Q. What is free will?
A. Free will is YOUR right to decide what you want to do about a situation, it is a choice
Q. How does free will affect a situation?
A. Well before we incarnate as Spirit in a human body, we decide on what experiences and challenges that will benefit our spiritual growth. However we are given the choice (free will) as to whether we go through with the experience or challenge. In effect we are allowed to change or mind.
Q. So are you saying we all know what lies before us?
A. Well in a way we all do. Remember we are 'Spirit' in a human body and your spirit does retain a memory but it is deep in our subconscious. This memory is retained deeply for a reason to help us fulfill our experiences and challenges we ourselves chose. However it is also at this deep level so we are not so aware. If you knew what lay before you would you go through with it? Probably not but we still retain this memory deeply and this reflects in our Aura.
Q. So what is the Aura?
A.The aura is The Aura is an electromagnetic field that surrounds living bodies, this includes people, animals, plants and crystals and is composed of several layers that are constantly moving. The Aura links us to whats known as Universal energy i.e. that is all the knowledge in the Universe past, present and future. It is on this aura that psychics are able to tap into and access your past, whats going on in the present and the possible future and I say possible specifically if your goal or desire is dependent on other people, for remember every person involved in a situation has free will.


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Astrid Brown (Author)
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